Caramel Contemplation

This post is in response to Lady Gaga's recently released music video 'Till It Happens To You...

Why is it that in this day and age, as a woman, I am not allowed the right (read: privilege) to have control of my own body? Every single day I am bombarded with stories of rape and assault, women being punished for exercising their right to say no and men walking around as if we're just items to be owned by the most aggressive individual?

'Till It Happens To You centers around the portrayal of campus assaults and rapes experienced by women in tertiary institutions around the globe. Not only did the visuals portrayed disturb me, they garnered such rage that I had no choice but to say something. Why is it so difficult for me to respected as a woman? Does the fact that I have a vagina automatically mean that I should be at the access and mercy of those too self-absorbed to accept rejection?

My body belongs to me. I do not need validation from another human being, let alone on the basis of said person having a penis attached to their body. I deserve respect and the decency that comes with civilized interaction between the sexes. Neither my breasts, nor my ass, or any other part of my body was born for the sake of another's pleasure. My dignity remains intact and my will strong. Just because I was born a woman does not mean I owe any part of my existence to a man. GET THIS RIGHT.

I am not an object to be acquired. Do not ever make the mistake of treating me as such.

For many women around the world, masturbation is a lot like farting... Something that men can willingly and playfully indulge in but a subject that is seemingly too taboo for the female population to have a role in. Sure, it's a normal natural thing but no, it's too crass for "precious flowers" to get involved in.

So why exactly is it that the thought of a woman touching her lady parts is so unspeakable? Well, to put it simply, men have the privilege of talking about it and are even encouraged to do it but women, well they're just here to please men and make babies. This fuckery of a mentality comes from many centuries of conditioning on the part of society...

You see, since the beginning of time female sexuality has been viewed as a threat to the male ego and as such, had to be suppressed in order to gain a supposedly "natural" order. Women have been taught to hold onto their virginity, remain pure and then ultimately get married, stay with one man for eternity and give said man a son (or 8). This is what possessing a vagina is about after all, right?

Despite the strides we have taken as a society and the progress that feminism has brought, we have still not been fully able to shake this stigma and due to this, many women still feel shame where their lady parts are concerned. Even though we are exposed to sex and sexual references almost every waking minute, women are still inherently taught to believe that their pleasure lies at the hands of a penis-possessing human counterpart. And so the perpetual cycle continues...

But ladies, don't you think it's time that we "woman up" and own our pleasure? Don't you, like me, feel that it's about time that we explore ourselves before we get destroyed by huge heads (baby and otherwise ;-))? I don't know about you but my vagina is the only one I have been blessed with (hallelujah!) and I intend on cherishing her!

Come on girls, don't let society rule you anymore than it already does. Go on with your bad self and touch your body in a way that you, and only you, can! Get that cliteracy rating up!

Happy Wednesday ;-)

I just finished watching one of the most beautiful wedding videos ever! I mean, like, EVER! And if you don't know by now, I am not about that life! Show me anything to do with love, or something like it, and I am liable to get into my car and drive to the next town! This was stunning though, and, I hate to admit it, kinda inspirational...

Getting back to reality, however, the particular video in question made me ponder upon something that I come across every now and then - the concept of unconditional love. In many a wedding that I have attended, oftentimes this topic seems to come up in vows and scriptures but really and truly, does unconditional love actually exist? I can only speak for myself and this is what I think about this whole thing...

A man is out of his damn mind and must be batshit crazy if he thinks that I'm gonna love his ass unconditionally! Unless you're Jesus or my baby, ain't no way in hell I can love you unconditionally. And that's just me keeping it real (as per usual).

I have never met a male being on this earth who has not let me down or hurt me in some way and as a result, being but a mere mortal myself, such devotion to another adult is not possible. Why? Because a nigga will inherently fuck up and my fragile heart will inevitably get trampled over. Now I'm not saying that I can't love with my whole heart or love with my entire being but I'm sorry dear, my love comes with conditions... Honesty, loyalty, consideration, admiration, patience and above all, respect, that's what's on my list! And the only way I can love another person without condition is if they were born from my very womb, simply because I can't put a condition of something or someone I made myself.

Maybe I'll fall in love again and maybe I will have the urge to love without condition but God gave me a brain for a reason and I shall utilize it accordingly.

Unconditional love? Gerrouttaherr!

So I hardly get sick, right? But when I do I feel as though the Earth should just open up and take me alive. Be it a common cold or food poisoning, the effect is magnified sevenfold and as a result, I basically become bound to either my bed or my couch for however long it takes for my body to love me again. This was the case yesterday, unfortunately :-(

Now normally I could handle this sort of thing on my own but as things stood, I could barely move, let alone be prancing around town trying to find suitable meds with which to dose myself into a near coma-like state. This is where my issue comes in... When you're always the person who helps everyone else out and seems all strong, people don't bother giving you the same treatment because hey, Wonder Woman Version 2.0 will be okay!

I ask for meds, I get told "I don't know when you'll get them", I say I'm gonna medicate myself to sleep, I get told "wait 45 minutes, I'm coming to fetch the key" and then the cherry on top of the proverbial cake, I get woken up at 3 in the morning to drag my pain-stricken body to the door to open up for an intoxicated individual. And where in this whole equation am I involved, you may ask? Somewhere behind all the drinks, shenanigans and friends.

What about me though? Don't I count? Don't I deserve to be looked after? Can't your friends find another day to party on? Can't you take one day off to put my needs before your wants? No. Why? Because men will undoubtedly always be men. And guess what ladies, men come before anything else in a man's life.

Forgive me for feeling some typa way but thanks for the thought or not knowing the value thereof. I'll just sit here, bored and in pain, and get over it then :-/

Support vs. Submission - Don't get it twisted!

So instead of my usual list, for this edition of Off Topic Tuesday I would like to share a random thought or two. Enjoy!