I've experienced this scenario far more times than I dare to admit- a random character I used to know in high school pops into my mind out of nowhere. Being the curious individual that I am, I get onto Google and find out whether this person has a Facebook or Twitter account so I can gauge how well they are doing or how they turned out in life then BAM! The discovery that this here person is a baby daddy! The most unlikely person to ever go around spreading his seed has gone and gotten a chick pregnant! Or worse yet, you get approached by a guy you genuinely click with only to find out that the guy has some baby mama drama going on someplace or other.And that right there is the sad reality most women from my generation have to face- the dreaded Baby Daddy Issue.
If I think back to the people I was in high school with, I can confidently estimate that at least 60% of all the males that come to mind have at least one child. The sad truth of the matter is that a large majority of men under the age of 30 have inevitable done the horizontal dance and just couldn't pull out in time. And sadder still, most of these men aren't even with their baby mamas anymore or had absolutely no intention of putting a ring on it, you know, as a big up for the effort or whatever. But why is this so though? Is it that difficult to keep it in your pants or wrap it up? Is a dude so broke or stingy that he can't even support a chick with some contraception? Or is there more to the story than meets the eye?
According to a recent show hosted by Oprah Winfrey titled "Oprah's Lifeclass", a revelation came about that due to a large number of homes being run by single mothers, a large amount of baby daddies have come about as a result. Why though? Well single mothers tend to baby their sons, spoiling them to the extent of stunting their growth. As a result these men lack the necessary emotional depth to handle responsibility and therefore have no issue with releasing their "load" but refuse to deal with the inevitable consequences. Another huge concern, this one from personal experience, is that society tends to place far too much emphasis on the morality of women as opposed to dealing with the most apparent roleplayers in the game- men. From a mere Google search on "too many baby daddies", thousands of results appeared about how women have too many baby daddies or how children having multiple fathers is automatically the fault of the woman. But seriously though, have we ever looked at the common denominator in this equation? A woman can only get pregnant once within a given cycle of time. A penis can impregnate an infinite number of eggs within the same timeframe. It only takes one swimmer, remember?
For me, the baby daddy issue will always be a bone of contention. The sad reality is that for many women from my generation, a lot of us will end up looking after someone else's child or have the burden of dealing with an ex that we probably won't be able to stand. Now that is something to think about!
Let me just start off by saying that I recognize how young I am and would never claim to know it all. I may be insightful or even just a bit more intuitive than the average person but wise? I am mos def not there yet in life! With that being said, through my few years of life here on our lovely planet I have had the chance to observe people, to gain practical life experience and to ultimately learn a lesson or two along the way.
I've always tried to push myself beyond my limits, to prove that I can do better, that I can work faster and ultimately get the job done in the best way possible. Due to the fact that work is one of the only areas within my life that I have control over, I tend to put my all into it and get the job done at all costs, sacrificing friends, family and sleep in the process. Although I may not be as bad as other people, it has taken me a while to come to the realization that without balance, life pretty much sucks (and not in the good way either!). Having been in a relationship with someone I can confidently call a workaholic, I was rudely awoken to the reality that a job has the powerful potential to suck all of the happiness out of life. But why, you may ask. Well, when one facet of an individual's existence takes more priority than others, equilibrium seems to fly out of the proverbial window. In focusing on creating an amazing career, gaining contacts and expanding your portfolio to new heights, people tend to lose focus of the truly important things in life. Don't get me wrong, building your career is one of the most important things you could ever do in life. But what about family, connections, LOVE? Are print-outs, emails and colleagues really more important than the people who helped groom you, offered you support along the way and urged you on the very path that causes you to neglect them? Surely that can't be the case. When tired eyes, lack of communication and an urge to take your work frustrations out on those who are closest to you cause a gaping hole in the canvas of your life, is there anything that can bring perspective back to your world? Why yes, there is! It comes in the form of a realization that your job will NEVER love you back. It may fund your expensive pillow-top bed but it won't keep you warm at night. It may distract you from your problems but it will never make them go away. It may bring you satisfaction but can it really make you happy?!
Life isn't about the perfect job, an awesome salary or an incredible career. Life should be about joy, laughter, that tingly feeling you get right before you sneeze, the smell of freshly-cut grass, the sound of birds singing sweetly at the break of dawn, the warmth that radiates throughout your body at the thought of being loved. It should be about creating happiness, counting blessings and doing things that truly bring you satisfaction, even right down to the very depths of your spirit. So find time to do the things that bring you joy. Surround yourself with people that inspire you to greatness. Sing off-key in the shower at the top of your lungs. Let someone know you love them. Work hard but always remember, your job will never, ever love you back.
Hi loves! I know I've been gone for a very long minute but I'm back and I'm about to revive this thing like never before! I decided to keep some of the regular topics that I usually post about but I will be adding a few sprinkles of spice here and there so watch this space! Right now I am about to kick off this thing with my Pic of the Week.
As you all know by now, I have an extreme obsession with cats (crazy cat lady over here! *waves*). So this week instead of my usually random nature pics, I decided to use a cat-inspired picture and introduce you to some of the amazing feline friends I have made along my journey thus far. I had the privilege of meeting these two when I stayed in Centurion. The multicolored kitty goes by the name of Half-Meeow (not her real name but that's what I baptised her as). She was an amazing little thing. Friendly and adorable as ever, she belonged to someone else but decided to adopt me as her foster Mom! She would come and visit me almost every day and was hellbent on sleeping on either my lap, or any other part of my body that was in reach at the time! I loved this little one and was extremely heart-broken when I had to leave her behind. I still think about her to this day. The grey cat goes by the name of Velvet (also baptised by me!). This cat arrived in the yard randomly one day and allowed me to pet him a little. He had the softest coat ever (hence the name)! I sat in the yard with these two beauties for a long time, just enjoying the company of some incredible animals. Sadly, I never saw Velvet again but the few moments I did spend with him were extremely precious to me. So there you have it- Half-Meeowzy and Velvet make my Pic of the Week for this week.
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| Centurion, Gauteng Province, South Africa |
