Caramel Contemplation

Men and women are very different.  It's clearly evident in everything we do, from the way we communicate to the way we handle conflict to even our reactions to certain things. Nowhere is this difference more difficult to overcome than in a relationship.

At times I sit and ponder why it is that men are so hard on us women sometimes. Having sat for several hours of my life with my girlfriends listening to their man problems and giving them advice while chipping in with my own life experience, I have found that men are far more ruthless when it comes to mistakes then women are. At some point or other, no matter how perfect we may perceive ourselves as being, we have to admit that we all make mistakes. And it is exactly these mistakes that we get judged on from almost everyone that we may encounter in our lives. This is especially problematic to deal with when the judgement is coming from the special man in your life. Have you ever wondered why it is that when he cheats, he may be forgiven but when she gets a phone call from her ex, she gets death stares, snide remarks and possibly the classic phrase, "It's fine".

Ladies, pay attention because what I am about to reveal will explain a lot of the problems that you may or may not encounter with males in your lifetime, whether they be friends, lovers or even your eternal partner. Along with all the other things that may or may not be wrong with them, men have three inherent flaws. These are namely, too much pride, insecurity and a large concern for their reputation.

Pride. Men's pride is a huge issue for them and it will be for you too if you become involved with them in any way. Their pride will allow them to do a lot of stupid things and will also bar you from doing anything to hurt them. Either way, he has to be a man and a man has to be strong. You do the math.

Insecurity. Men may play dumb but they know exactly what's up. They are insecure because they are either afraid that you may bruise their pride or do something that they are capable of doing. This could explain why they always suspect cheating because they know that they may do the same in that particular situation.

Reputation. Men never want to look weak in public. Especially when it comes to cheating. If you cheated on him and the news gets out, he figures that people see him as weak and in order to counteract this, he needs to show that infidelity will not be tolerated. People can't look at him and think about how stupid he is for staying with a whorish woman.

Dealing with men is difficult. If you ever come across a situation where a man cannot handle your mistakes, one thing you can do is leave his ass and look for something better. But if you feel as though he is worth keeping, be patient and know where to draw the line. If your limits have been made clear and he persists in crossing the line, you may have no choice but to leave and make him learn from his mistake. You could also make him see what a good woman you are by doing everything he wants you to do and being absolutely understanding but believe me, this can be extremely testing and difficult.

As a man matures, he will learn that pride and reputation are not everything. He will also realise the worth of the woman at his side. And if he doesn't, baby, it's time to leave him. If he can't accept you for who you are then refuse to do the same with him.

Stay strong Sistas...